so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
