But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize