remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
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