hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
