I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
