I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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