the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
did i just pee glitter
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
