I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
