the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
