Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
