listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
