Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
