She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize