I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
