Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Randomize
