check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
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