she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
i need some magic done to my vagina
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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