Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
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A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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