***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Say something about gay babies.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize