I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I need to calm my uterus...
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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