i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
