Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
