theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
