found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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