Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
