it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
