i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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