I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Randomize
