yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
