we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
