I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
