Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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