Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
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