I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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