mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
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Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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