I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
