I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
In America we eat man semen.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Randomize
