Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Do vagina's smell?
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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