I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
