How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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