Me. At least after what I've been through.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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