Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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