i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
God I need to hump something, right now.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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