Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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