This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
as a side note pls kill me
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
