You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
