she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
