Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
