Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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