so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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