The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
