bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Randomize
