the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
