Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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