u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
