I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
