you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
