If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
