you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
