We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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