We won't sleep together?
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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