Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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