its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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