Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
